PIXELS

GRADE: D 
Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Michelle Monaghan, Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad, Brian Cox, Ashley Benson, Jane Krakowski
Story by Tim Herlihy
Screenplay by Tim Herlihy and Timothy Dowling
Directed by Chris Columbus 
Rated PG-13 (mild profanity, vulgarity, innuendo and video game violence) 

 Reviewed by Patrick Gibbs and Paul Gibbs


Anyone going into a movie about classic video games brought to life in the real world starring Adam Sandler and produced by his production company, Happy Madison, is likely either expecting something truly terrible or holding out hopes that it will defy the odds and that director Chris Columbus, whose career averages out to more misses than hits but has made some slick, entertaining films, will deliver a guilty pleasure summer blockbuster than is silly but fun.

Pixels is ultimately neither as good or as bad as in could be delivering some enjoyable sequences but making a steady stream of bad decisions (when it's not being too lazy to make decisions at all.). The movie obviously wants to be a modern Ghostbusters, and the premise genuinely lent itself to a film that flirts with that potential but falls short and pales in comparison. But being a Happy Madison Production, it doesn't even reach the point of deserving the comparison.

In 1982,  young Sam Brenner is competing in the world video games championships, with his best  friend Will Cooper by his side, and the two meet and makes friends with an extremely nerdy kid named Ludlow Lamansoff. Brenner makes it to the last round, but is ultimately defeated by the cocky but diminutive reigning champion Eddie Plant, AKA "The Fireblaster." As the event begins, the MC, (Dan Aykroyd) announces that footage of the event will be included in a time capsule that NASA is launching  into space, containing images and footage of Earth life and culture.

Flash forward to present day, and Brenner (Adam Sandler) is working a dead end job installing and repairing electronics, while his best friend the loser fat kid Will (Kevin James) is, of course, President of the United States (with literally no explanation as to how or why.). In fact, the only vague clue we get to anything regarding his political career is that he must be a Democrat, because he is seen being ridiculed on FOX News (he is ridiculed by the whole nation because he is viewed as an ineffectual oaf who makes a fool of himself, but realistically he would only be portrayed that way by FOX if he was a Democrat.).
  

The President's leadership is put to the test when aliens, who discovered the video-feeds of classic arcade games, but misinterpreted them as a declaration of war, attack the Earth using the games as models for their various assaults. Naturally, the Commander-In-Chief enlists the aid of of his friend the former almost champion to figure out how to fight this invasion, and before long, Ludlow (Josh Gad, best known as the voice of Olaf in Frozen) is assisting, and they even enlist the aid of Brenner's former nemesis, The Fireblaster (Peter Dinklage), who is serving time in prison for computer hacking.

On the bright side, all of the classics, from Pac-Man to Donkey Kong, are brought to life. On the down side, everything else is completely lifeless. The movie is filled with plot holes that make Terminator: Genysis look coherent, and in tone it resembles Cannonball Run moreso than Ghostbusters, with Sandler enlisting his friends and various Hollywood stars in what is often quite literally more a party than a movie, as "The President of Queens" throws a giant party after every victory and Brian Cox as a surly General seems ready to scream "Animal HOOOOOUSE!" and pound his fist on something constantly.

The best moments in the film are the video game battles, and the Pac-Man one in particular is quite fun, But the performances range from passable to just annoying, with the only exceptions being Michelle Monaghan as a Military Tech specialist and unconvincing love interest for Sandler. Monaghan seems to be having fun and as such is fun to watch,  as is young Matt Lintz as her son.  s.  Surprisingly, the most annoying performances come from the best actors, such as Dinklage and Cox, and Sean Bean in a cameo, all chewing the scenery and being as over the top as possible, though in fairness to them it's clearly what the producer and director want from them. Sandler seems a little bored but is at least doing his sarcastic regular guy shtick, which is preferable to his "It's funny when I talk baby talk" shtick, and it's a fairly effective comic leading man turn. James is usual endearingly goofy blue collar every man high school dropout self, but what sense does that make when he's playing the President (and before you make the comparison, George W. Bush was not endearing). Gad is putting in a lot more effort, but much of the time his character is simply too obnoxious. The most likable major character is Qbert, the inconic video game character, who is awarded to our heroes as a "trophy" for one of their victories. Making Qbert the "Slimer" equivalent is easily the best choice made by the filmmakers, but unfortunately the character's ultimate fate manages to be one of the worst choices in a major movie in a long time.

At its best, Pixels has nostalgia appeal for those of us who remember the old Atari games from childhood, and its often a pleasant enough diversion. Even if more gags are missing than hitting, the number that are truly cringe-worthy is thankfully low (though QBert voiding his bladder in fear and a running gag involve Dinklage wanting to have a threesome with Martha Stewart and Serena Williams definitely count.).  But it's hard to give it too much credit for this when nothing about the story seems to hold together. Yes, this is a light comedy with a silly subject, and not meant to be taken seriously, but that doesn't excuse the laziness of the plotting. It's not asking too much to simply go two or three minutes without a head-scratching "Huh?" moment. Of course a film about aliens using video games to invade Earth isn't going to makes sense on a real world level, but this film makes no real effort to even make sense within its own goofy, fictional confines. Why does Monaghan's military character suddenly seem to know so much about video games? Oh, don't worry about it. If she's such a video game expert, why do they even need Sandler's character?  How do they not only plan for every possible video game the aliens could throw at them but have the complicated machinery in place in whatever city the aliens happen to choose with never more than a day's notice? Oh, don't worry about it. Why are they stopping over and over again to throw big parties that involve heavy drinking when they don't know when the next attack is coming? Oh, don't worry about? Seriously, who voted for Kevin James as President? At some point we have to worry about it because there's a new one of these logic lapses every five minutes or less.  Ghostbusters created a mythology that worked, and it was uproariously funny. Pixels doesn't reach either of these goals.

The majority of the blame lies with Sandler and his company for their hubris and continued refusal to try to make good movies, instead taking great pride in the idea that nobody does deliberately stupid and immature like they do, and that their core audience loves that. And they do, or at least did, but it's starting to wear thin even with that crowd, and for this movie they needed to reach for a wider demographic.

The fun of seeing these video games played out on a large scale may be enough to make Pixels worth watching for some audiences. That is fun, and sometimes how its done even comes close to being clever. But overall, it's a movie for 12 year-olds to see at the dollar theater on a Saturday as part of double feature, but is decidedly the lesser of the two (it doesn't matter what the other one is.).