THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Reviewed by Paul Gibbs

GRADE: A +

Starring Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Marion Cottilard and Morgan Freeman

Screenplay by Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan

Directed by Christopher Nolan

SPOILER:

No, Heath Ledger doesn't miraculously return frorm the dead.

That's the only spoiler. In fact, I feel so strongly that The Dark Knight Rises should be approached with as blank a slate as possible, that I'll even keep my story synopsis to a minimum. Many who know me know how huge a fan of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy I am. I saw Batman Begins 10 times in its original theatrical run, and had actually adopted the online persona of “The Dark Knight” within portions of Utah's live theater community before that had even been chosen as the title of Nolan's follow up. And repeated viewings of The Dark Knight were the only thing that got me through grueling sessions of kidney dialysis in the summer of 2009. To say the least my expectations and hopes were high for the finale to what had the potential to be one of cinemas greatest trilogies . Of course, we could also have ended up with Spider-Man 3. I was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen. Nolan has been a remarkably consistent filmmaker (the only one of his major films that I didn't love was The Prestige, and I still liked that one aside from being asked to swallow one too many improbable plot twists. And I still think Insomnia may be the most under appreciated great film of the 2000s). But to say that I was not disappointed is, to say the least, an understatement. On the comment card I had to turn in to the studio reps at the press screening, I called The Dark Knight Rises one of the ten best films ever made. Two days later I realize that's an absurdly presumptuous and hyperbolic statement to make about a brand new film I've just seen for the first time. But such was the soaring emotion and excitement of Nolan's film that I was utterly swept up.

The Dark Knight rises picks up 8 years after The Dark Knight ended, with Batman left in the past, and Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) now having transitioned from millionaire playboy to reclusive Howard Hughes type eccentric. The emergence of Cat burglar Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway) catches his interest, but he doesn't become alarmed until the arrival of the mysterious Bane (Tom Hardy), a gigantic brute who breathes through a mask which causes whiny fanboys to freak out because they can't understand what he's saying in early trailers. Meanwhile, police officer John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is poking around, seemingly obsessed with memories of the Batman.

From here, Nolan spins a tale that takes as far a step up in intensity from The Dark Knight as The Dark Knight did from Batman Begins. Which is not to say it's a better film. There will be legitimate debate for years to come as to which of the three films is best (I could make cases for all three, but I suspect that Heath Ledger's Joker will be enough to keep the second film reigning supreme in popular and critical consciousness), just that it's even more harrowing. Nolan has packed quite a bit more action and effects in this time around, but not at the expense of the story, characters and themes that have made his version of Batman so special. This is still a story about the inner pain and personal journey of Bruce Wayne, coming to terms with the demons of his troubled life. I can't even see where the detractors of Bale's performance in the earlier films are coming from, and his work here may be his best in the trilogy (and I though he should have been a serious Oscar contender for Batman Begins). The supporting cast this time around may not include one standout on Ledger's level, but Gary Oldman, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are as touching and nuanced as ever, and Anne Hathaway steals nearly every scene she's in with her portrayal of Catwoman. Tom Hardy is terrifying as Bane (whose name has nothing to do with Mitt Romney, so everybody just leave that one alone), and Marion Cotillard and Matthew Modine add nicely to the proceedings. Joseph Gordon-Levitt continues to emerge as a major Hollywood presence, and I found him to be one of the most engaging characters in the film.

While part of me is very sad to see this series end, a bigger part is supremely happy that Nolan has done what so many other filmmakers have failed to do: create a masterful trilogy that is excellent from beginning to end. The Dark Knight trilogy will belong alongside The Lord of the Rings and the original Star Wars saga in discussions of the greatest trilogies of all time. One of the great achievements is that all three films, while part of a cohesive thematic whole, are so distinct. Batman Begins was a grand epic adventure in the mold of Raider of the Lost Ark or Gladiator. The Dark Knight was an operatic crime drama in the best Godfather tradition. To define the genre and feel of The Dark Knight Rises would be to give away too much, but it's quite a bit different from what I expected.

The Dark Knight Rises is a soaring, triumphant achievement that trills, terrifies, amuses, and moves its audience. It's a waste of time judging its place among comic book-inspired films. It's place in the pantheon of cinema goes far beyond that. Whoever Warner Bros. Chooses to be the next silent guardian and watchful protector of the Batman franchise has an impossibly large cowl to fill.

NOTE: As if you still need to be told as this point, The Dark Knight Rises is not for young children. This could easily induce long streaks of nightmares. My niece and nephew will still be getting Adam West, Batman Forever or one of the animated incarnations when they want their Batman fix.

BRAVE

Reviewed by Patrick Gibbs

GRADE A +

Kelly McDonald, Emma Thompson, Billy Connolly, Julie Walters, Robbie Coltrane
Written by Mark Andrews, Steve Purcell and Brenda Chapman and Irene Mecci
Directed by Mark Andrews, and Brenda Chapman
Co-Directed by Steve Purcell

The story begins with Merida, a little princess with a wild mane of red, curly hair, is living in the Scottish kingdom of DunBroch with her mother, Queen Elinor and her father, King Fergus. Young Merida is enchanted when she sees a will o' the whisp, a magical little faerie creature, But of course, King Fergus does not believe in such things, but Merida and her mother do.

On Merida's birthday, Fergus gives Merida a bow and arrow. While going hunting, Merida's family are attacked by an ancient bear, Mor'du. Elinor and Merida flee. Fergus stays to battle the bear and loses his left leg, vowing to find Mor'du again.
The narrative then then jumps forward, and Merida has become a young lady of marrying age. And marriage seems to be exactly what is on everyone's minds . . . except for Merida herself. When Lords Macintosh, MacGuffin, and Dingwall present their sons to compete for Merida's hand, a brawl ensues, and it is agreed that the proper suitor will be chosen through a test of skill, which, according to tradition, is decided upon by the princess herself. Seeing an opportunity, Merida chooses an archery challenge, with the secret plan to compete for her own hand.

From there, the story takes some unexpected turns and it went isn't a very different direction then I was expecting, as the film takes on a heavy fantasy element and becomes less of the soaring adventure the trailer might leave audiences anticipating. In the end, this is PIXAR movie, and as such, it falls back on being what PIXAR does best. Brave is a buddy movie, much like Toy story, Monsters', Inc., Finding Nemo – but it's a different kind of buddy movie. It's a mother-daughter buddy movie, and a gloriously heartfelt and insightful one. It breathes a sorely needed element of feminism into the Disney Princess world – even Beauty and the Beast, after all, while centered around a heroine who wanted more than to just defined by a relationship with a man, still ends up being about her relationship with the right man - but it's also a story about the strength of families and the unbreakable bond between good parents and their children.
Merida (as voice by Kelly McDonald) is in a class by herself as a Disney Princess. She's strong willed, can outshout any man in the kingdom with a bow, and even stand up to her own father with a sword. But she's also immature and too impetuous, and perhaps a bit selfish in some of her actions. She's not perfect, which only strengthens the character and the messages of the film. She much to teach her family and her kingdom, but much to learn as well. But the same can be said of Elinor (Emma Thompson) and Fergus (Billy Connolly.). The family dynamic in Brave is one of the strongest and most honest ever portrayed in a Disney film, and in the end, in this royal family, the family element is of far more importance than royalty.
The voice cast is excellent, especially the aforementioned leads, but the addition of such stalwarts as Robbie Coltrane, Julie Walters and even talk show host Craig Ferguson are top notch. And of course, there is the obligatory cameo by John Ratzenberger.

The majesty of the Scottish highlands are brilliantly brought to life, not only by the dazzling animation, but by the outstanding musical score by Patrick Doyle (most famous for scoring Kenneth Branagh's films from Henry V to Thor, as well as Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire and Rise of The Planet of the Apes). As an aficionado of Celtic music who actually used to play the bagpipes myself, I was beyond delighted to hear actual Highland pipes featured in the score itself, which is almost never done, and the attention to accuracy to detail, from the clothing to the food the caber toss and the steps of my personal favorite Highland dance, the seann trius, are not something most people are going to geek out over like I did, but they add a flavor and nuance to the transportation of the audience to to a different time and place that enhance the experience even for those who aren't fully aware of it.

The story at times becomes reminiscent of other Disney films, with the slight touch of Toy Story that one would expect from PIXAR and elements of The Princess and The Frog and even the unfairly maligned Brother Bear, but it takes on such a distinct identity of it's own that it never becomes tedious or feels like it's covering the same old territory.

This is a perfect family film on a epic scale, and a very welcome Princess story that is indeed about love, but where romance never enters the picture, and while there's nothing wrong with romance, it's a wonderfully refreshing change of pace for such a story to portray that life, and love, have so much else to offer than just the pairing of a Princess with her handsome Prince and their happily ever after. Life is a journey, and every moment is something to be savored.

Brave is rated G, but does feature some intense moments, as well as brief nudity (male backsides) and a joke centered around a Lady in Waiting's ample cleavage, but both are very tastefully done and it's still appropriate for little ones.

ROCK OF AGES

Reviewed by Patrick Gibbs 

GRADE: B -
Julianne Hough, Diego Bonetta, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti and Tom Cruise
Written by Justin theroux and Allan Loeb
Based on the Musical by Chris Di'Arienzio
Directed By Adam Shenkman



In 1987, Sherrie Christian (Julianne Hough) travels on a bus from her small town in Oklahoma to L.A., intent of pursuing her dream of becoming a famous singer, and we are treated to the first in a series of roughly 1800 musical numbers made up of mainstream '80's rock hits (in this case, “Sister Christian” mixed with “Almost Paradise.”) The rest of the passengers on the bus join in, and it makes for a silly but cute opening sequence.

Upon reaching LA LA land, the bus passes by a popular nightclub called "The Bourbon Room." Quickly after getting off the bus, our heroine is mugged, losing her most prized possession – a suitcase containing her favorite records. Enter our hero: Drew Boley (Diego Bonetta), who works at the Bourbon Room as a bounce boy. He tries to catch the robber, but fails. Since he can't get her the records, and he's a nice guy motivated by a the kindness of his heart and the tightness of her shorts, he he gets her a job at the Bourbon Room as a waitress.

The club's owner, Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin in a less than convincing wig), and his right-hand man, Lonny Barnett (Russell Brand, in what could either be an even sillier wig or just his real hair), are finagling a deal that could save the club, which they are in danger of losing due to massive unpaid back taxes. Stacee Jaxx, the eccentric and notoriously difficult front-man for Arsenal, has recently announced that he is splitting from his band to embark on a solo career, but a final performance with the band at The Bourbon Room could be just the ticket to save the beloved old club.

Enter the villain: Patricia Whitman (Catherine Zeta-Jones), the religious conservative wife of the Mayor. Patricia organizes her church to protest in front of the Bourbon Room, planning to shut them down. Meanwhile, Drew and Sherrie get to know each other, and a romance begins to blossom. But everything is suddenly amped up all the way to eleven upon the actual arrival of Stacee Jaxx (played by Tom Cruise), the man, the myth, and the money (a pet which he calls “Hey Man.”)

Obviously, this is not a story driven movie. Rock of Ages is short on plot, even for a musical – it plays like a cross between Bye, Bye Byrdie and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, including the raunchy elements of the latter. For a PG-13, this pushes the envelope about as far as it can go with sensuality and what can barely be called innuendo because it's much more direct. There's no actual nudity, but between strip clubs, slutty outfits, and Paul Giammati's scalp, there's enough skin on display to keep half the audience smiling and the other half squirming from start to finish, and if there were any more gyrating or boob grabbing on display, this movie could run for Senate.

The film's biggest strengths lie in the music, most of which is recognizable even if you're not a walking encyclopedia of '80's tunes, and the boundless energy of the cast. Diego Bonnetta, as Drew, has a fiery presence and a killer voice that he probably won't get a chance a chance to show off in many films, so it's fortunate that he gets more than enough chances in this one, and he makes quite an impression with an earnest and engaging performance . Julianne Hough, as Sherrie, is equally energized, but her voice, which is better suited to country than rock, can get a bit shrill at times. Still, the attractive and perky young pair provides plenty of entertainment provides plenty of entertaining eye candy (and he's not bad either.)

But the performance everyone is wondering about is Tom Cruise. Does he rock you like a hurricane, or stage dive flat on his face? On the heels of the surprise mega hit Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Cruise is poised for a possible comeback, and there's a lot riding on this film for the controversial star. Fortunately for him, he gives a breathtaking performance that should surprise and impress fans and detractors alike – no one has dominated the screen in a supporting role this decisively since Heath Ledger's Joker, and honestly, there's an excellent chance of an Oscar nod for his portrayal of a past his prime, slightly crazy and egocentric star with a penchant for younger women (I know, it's a real stretch.) Say what you want about Cruise, but no other actor in Hollywood can match his level of dive in head first, I'll do anything for the part commitment, whether it's scaling the tallest building in the world, or practicing for five hours a day to get his voice ready to belt out a very memorable rendition of Bon Jovi's Wanted: Dead Or Alive. If this movie is even a moderate hit it should cement the return of Cruise to the good graces of Hollywood and the movie going public.
Zeta-Jones belts out a great rendition of Hit Me With Your Best Shot, but is otherwise underused, but not as shamefully as the amazing talented Bryan Cranston as her husband. The star of such television hits as Malcolm in the Middle and Breaking Bad has yet to be given a big screen role to compare with his television work, and this is certainly not it.

Fortunately, fairing far better are Baldwin and Brand, who make a delightful comic duo. Rounding out the cast are Giamatti, given his usual stellar work as Stacee's unscrupulous manager, and Malin Ackerman, the live sized wax figure from Watchmen. Her acting style does tend to play better in light comedy, and her singing is stronger than he acting, but she still has to fall back her old standby to make an impression, and in doing so provides the film's once major stylistic anachronism when she strips down to a bra and panties that are less than authentic to the period.

Again, the musical numbers are where the movie really shines, and it's important to remember that the Broadway version hit upon the idea of Journey's Don't Stop Believing as a sure fire showstopper long before Glee was even in it's brief early period as a good show, so you can't blame the film if the song seems more than bit overdone at this point. Rock of Ages is likely to sell more soundtrack albums than tickets in the long run, but while the film is flimsy and overlong, it's quite amusing and watchable 90 percent of the time. Just don't make the mistake of thinking that being a light musical makes it family fair.
This is not for everyone's tastes, and certainly won't make my best of the year list, but it is campy fun that with leave you singing a happy song.

Rock of Ages is rated PG-13 for sexuality and vulgarity throughout, profanity, drug use, smoking, and very mild violence.

PROMETHEUS

Reviewed by Patrick Gibbs

GRADE: A-
Noomi Rapace, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Logan Marshall-Green, Michael Fassbender and Guy Pearce
Written by Jon Spaihts & Damon Lindelof
Directed by Ridley Scott

It may be true that in space, no one can hear you scream, but many people heard the name Ridley Scott after the 1979 classic Alien, which launched a distinguished career not only for Scott, but eventually one for James Cameron as well. Despite the involvement of talents such as David Fincher, Jean-Pierre Juent, and Joss Whedon, the series fizzled so badly after the attempts to follow up Cameron's Aliens that most fans prefer to pretend there are only two Alien films.

But that is about to change.

Prometheus begins in 2089, as two archaeologists, Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) discover a star map among several unconnected ancient cultures. They interpret this as an invitation from the an alien race to come to them. What's more, they believe that the secret to life on this planet of “engineers” holds the answer to the beginning of life on Earth.

Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce), the elderly founder of the Weyland Corporation, funds the creation of the scientific vessel Prometheus to follow the map to the distant moon LV-223. The ship's crew travels in stasis while the android David (Michael Fassbender) monitors their voyage. In 2093, the ship arrives, and its crew are informed of their mission to find the Engineers. Mission director Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron) orders them to avoid direct contact if the Engineers are found. The Prometheus lands near a structure and a team is sent to explore within.

To give away any beyond that would be to spoil one of the summer's most anticipated, and as it turns out, one of it's best films. Scott hasn't made a film this good in quite a while, and nobody has made a big budget science fiction epic this intelligent and layered in more years than I care to count. Prometheus is saddled with the daunting task of being both a 2001: A Space Odyssey style ponderous piece of intellectual science fiction while at the same time staying true to Scott's original classic that inspired it, which is no easy task. Anyone who saw Danny Boyle promising but ultimately disastrous film Sunshine has to really question whether you can possibly combine cerebral commentary on science and the nature of the universe with thrills, scares and gore. But Prometheus succeeds on every level that Sunshine failed, and may be the most overall satisfying film in the Alien series.

The cast is quite good, with Charlize Theron giving a delightfully enigmatic performance that ranges from tightly stoic to irresistibly sexy, without ever being over played, and Noomi Rapace (the original Lizbeth Salander) proves that she can anchor an American film just as well as Swedish one, if not better. It's almost as if someone asked the question “What if Ellen Ripley had been played by Audrey Hepburn” and the elegant and charming Rapace simply repeated the immortal words of John Hammond: “I'll show you.” Rapace and Scott work together gloriously, particularly in a wonderful cringe inducing sequence that very cleverly references the famous “alien pops out of the stomach” sequence in the original film in a way that will make you terrified of any machine you see in a doctor's office for the rest of your life.
But by far the most entertaining performances come from Idris Elba as Janek, the Captain of Prometheus, an amiable fellow who doesn't waste a lot of time talking just to hear himself talk, but leaves you with the strong impression that he's every bit as smart in his own way as the brilliant scientists he ferries aboard his ship, and Michael Fassbender as David, the android created by Weyland. David is still working on developing his personality, and has taken to mimicking Peter O'Toole is his favorite film, Lawrence of Arabia (apparently Weyland programmed this machine with excellent cinematic taste), to the point of copying his speech patterns and mannerisms, and even giving himself bright blond hair. Fassbender is deliciously entertaining as by far the most complex and interesting of the androids we've seen in these films, and deserves consideration for Best Supporting Actor.

Unfortunately, on the other end of the spectrum is Guy Pearce as Weyland. Why Scott chose to use the extremely talented but occasionally hammy star of L.A. Confidential and Memento in cheesy old age make-up that brings to mind The Simpson's Monty Burns, when he could have simply used a distinguished older actor like Christopher Plummer or even O'Toole himself is beyond puzzling. Every critic in the screening I attending commented that they were waiting for some big “Fountain of Youth” style plot twist that, while it would have had no place in the story, would have justified or at least explained this baffling choice.

But otherwise, the director and his crew take Prometheus safely and successfully to it's intended destination in style and grace, giving us a thrilling ride. Unfortunately, it may simply by too thoughtful to connect with mass audiences.

Prometheus is rated R for violence and gore, as well as some sensuality and profanity.

BATTLESHIP

Reviewed by Patrick Gibbs
 
BATTLESHIP
GRADE: D  
Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, and Liam Neeson
Screenplay by Jon Hoeber & Erich Hoeber
Directed by Peter Berg

Hollywood is officially out of ideas.

In 2005, NASA discovers an extrasolar planet inside the Goldilocks Zone, with conditions similar to Earth. Nearly wetting themselves with self important enthusiasm, NASA transmits a powerful signal from a communications array in Hawaii, which will be boosted by a satellite in orbit.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, or in this case the bar, two brothers, Stone and Alex Hopper ,are celebrating the younger brother's birthday, when Alex (Taylor Kitsch), notices a strikingly beautiful women at the car attempting to order a chicken burrito. Unfortunately, the bar doesn't serve food this late at night. This bright but down to earth and normal, every day, real life girl next door type (played by top Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Brooklyn Decker) initially has no interest in our intrepid young hero, but when he breaks into a convenience store across the street in order to get her a burrito, causing a good deal of property damage, including a police car wreck, and is then tasered by the police as he falls at her feet handing her the much coveted microwaved grease-ball, she is so obviously touched by the fact that chivalry lives as proven by the fact that a total stranger would break the law while drunk and cause a major police incident in order to steal a $3.75 Frozen Food Item for a woman he has barely met even though she has long golden blonde hair and stunningly perfect breasts, that she is instantly smitten. It's these kind of reality based, “slice of life” moments that are synonymous with the words “in Association with Hasbro.”

There is, however, a complication. The woman is Samantha Shane, daughter of Pacific Fleet Commander Admiral Shane (played by Academy Award Nominee Liam Neeson, for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom) who in turn is the superior of Commander Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgard), Alex's older brother. Stone is not happy: his little brother is a slacker, and a malcontent who mooches off of him and refuses to live up to his potential, and he himself is stuck with a name that sounds like a term used to describe someone going from bathroom to bathroom trying to deal with a painful kidney problem. In order to fix both situations, Stone forces his brother to join the United States Navy, reasoning that things will somehow become better if both men are in a good position to get regularly shot at, and that the movie will be even more annoying if both of them are referred to only as “Hopper.”

By 2012, Hooper #1 (Kitsch) is a Lieutenant and the Tactical Action Officer aboard the destroyer USS John Paul Jones, while Hopper # 2 (Skarsgard) is commanding officer of the USS Sampson. Hopper is also in a committed relationship with Samantha and wants to marry her, but is afraid to ask her father for permission, but Hopper insists that Hopper do so, worried that further antics from Hopper will further endanger Hopper's career (Hopper, not Hopper, though what is bad for Hopper is not exactly good for Hopper, either.).

At RIMPAC, a series of Naval excercises taking place at Pearl Harbor, Hopper brawls with Japanese officer Captain Nagata (Tadanobu Asano), the latest in a string of incidents that could result in his discharge at the end of RIMPAC (the first being when he and Goose buzzed the tower of an aircraft carrier, unless that was a different movie.) . Meanwhile, in a key subplot carefully designed to pad the movie out to two hours, Samantha is now working as a physical therapist with spectacularly perfect breasts, and she accompanies a retired Army veteran and amputee on a hike on Oahu to help him adapt to his prosthetic legs, the reasoning being that Decker has made a career out of making men stand on their own (rim-shot.).

But everything changes when five alien ships arrive in response to the NASA signal. One ship collides with an orbital satellite and crashes in Hong Kong, while four others land in the water near Hawaii. Sampson, John Paul Jones, and the Japan destroyer Myōkō investigate, but are trapped when one of the ships erects an impenetrable force field around the Hawaiian islands. The destroyers attempt to establish contact, but the aliens open fire: Sampson and Myōkō are destroyed, and John Paul Jones is damaged, with the commanding officers, executive officers, and Jon Bon Jovi all getting killed in the process. Lt. Hopper takes command as the most senior officer left on the ship, and they recover survivors from Myōkō, with Captain Nagata among them.

But then, unfortunately, in the second act, the movie starts to get a little silly (as opposed to before). Since the barrier prevents the use of radar and sonar (they can't see the aliens, and the aliens can't see them), Nagata reveals that they can use tsunami warning buoys around Hawaii to track the alien vessels' movements. In other words, they are looking at electronic maps and firing at numbered coordinates based on their best guess. Sound familiar? Brilliant, isn't it? And you thought this wasn't actually going to tie directly into the game, did you? Come on. Would the folks who gave us the same Transformers movie three times and put Channing Tatum into Oscar territory with G.I. JOE disappoint us? The answer is, only if you are stupid enough to have expectations. In the final third, an actual BATTLESHIP is brought in so the title of the film will work, and all is put right.

All the elements are in place for a truly terrible summer blockbuster, and director Peter Berg, who previously gave us the Will Smith travesty Hancock, is faced with the daunting task of tackling a franchise concept so stupid that Michael Bay wouldn't touch it with a 200 foot tall explosion. While Berg lacks Bay's most frenetic traits, he also lacks his sense of style, and tries to make up for them by mimicking the Pearl Harbor “bomb's eye view shot” approximately ninety times, and by making this film an amalgam of every Bay blockbuster: aliens are dropping robotic meteors that transform into buzz saws on Pearl Harbor. The only thing missing is a pair of wise cracking, black buddy cops busting Sean Connery out of Alcatraz.

The film has the distinction of featuring by far the most slapdash and nonthreatening alien invaders in decades – they look like something that wandered of the set of the early seasons of Red Dwarf. As big and bombastic as the movie is, it is apparent that Universal and Hasbro knew they did not have a Transformers sized hit on their hands and cut corners where they could.

Bad performances abound. Decker honestly manages to give a reasonable approximation of acting – she's far from good, but she's at the very least no worse than Megan Fox and certainly better than Rose Huntington Whitely, the underwear model who replaced Fox in the Transformers series. In fact, truth be told, she embarrasses herself less than Liam Neeson, who could, after all, be in a real movie and acting, if he felt like it. Singer Rihanna, as the sassy black tomboy bad ass who can fight as well as any white man, manages to make a big impression in the sense that now we understand why Chris Brown hit her. As for Taylor Kitsch, the Keanu Reeves for a new generation, he gives an adequate, if uninspired, performance, but fared much better earlier this year in John Carter, another silly, over the top sci-fi epic that had the advantage of not sucking but unfortunately managed to lose so much money that it nearly destroyed the Walt Disney Corporation to such an extent that they now are only the third richest independent nation on Earth.

But the big question you want to know is: does anyone actually say “You sunk my Battleship?” the answer is no, but they do resort to recycling the single most over used line from the Star Wars saga, so still they get no credit from me. In the end, if you really like the Michael Bay formula, and tend to get into shameless, flag waving, pro military propaganda, you may have some fun with this. But even then, don't pay full price.

Battleship is rated PG-13 for violence, profanity, and mild, badly directed sensuality.

DARK SHADOWS

Reviewed by Patrick Gibbs

GRADE: B

Johnny Depp, Eve Green, Michelle Pfeifer, Bella Heathcoate, Chloe Grace Moretz,

Johnny Lee Miller

Based on the television series created by Dan Curtis

Screen Story by Seth Grahame -Smith and John August

Screenplay by Seth Grahame-Smith

Directed by Tim Burton

If you pay go to see a Tim Burton film, you pretty much know exactly what you are going to get. Sometimes you get a little bit more (Ed Wood, Big Fish) and sometimes you get a lot less (Planet of The Apes, Sleepy Hollow, Mars Attacks!). The bad news about Dark Shadows is that it is nothing more than a very average Tim Burton film. The good news is it's also nothing less.

In 1752, Joshua and Naomi Collins sail from Liverpool, England to North America. Their son, Barnabas, grows up to be played by super mega star Johnny Depp, who has achieved enormous popularity and raves for the stunning versatility he shows in finding ways to play every character as a variation on Jack Sparrow. The adult Barnabas is a wealthy playboy in Collinsport, Maine, and the master of Collinwood Manor. Like most playboys, Barnabas gets around. Unlike most, he has the misfortune of doing so with a servant who also happens to be a witch. Angelique Bouchard (played by Eva Green), is more than a little upset when Barnabas spurns her for the lovely Josette. She responds by killing his parents, cursing his family and causing all of them, to leap to their deaths from a nearby cliff. Finally, she turns Barnabas into a vampire and buries him alive in a chained-coffin in the woods.

200 years later in 1972, Barnabas is accidentally freed from his coffin by a group of construction workers, sucks them dry of their blood and makes his way back to Collinwood Manor where he finds his once-magnificent mansion in ruin. The manor is currently occupied by Barnabas' descendants, who are in a bit of a financial rut and are dysfunctional in exactly the way you would expect a family to be in a Tim Burton film. The teenage girl, Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moretz) is moody, rebellious and oversexed; the young boy, David (Gulliver McGrath) claims the ghost of his dead mother speaks to him, and the boy's father, Roger (Johnny Lee Miller) is a womanizing cad who gives little attention to his son. His sister Elizabeth (Michelle Pfieffer) the of the family, is saddled with the daunting task of saving the manor from being taking away from them, and when Barnabas suddenly appears, talking of a buried treasure, she decides to look past his eccentric ways and hide his status as a vampire in hopes that he can restore the once proud family to their former glory.

Also living with the family are Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), a family therapist, and Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcoate), and beautiful young nanny who draws the attention and affections of Barnabas. But problems arise when an old enemy appears to foil the vampire's plans to raise his family name from the dead.

All of this is pretty by the numbers and predictable – this harkens back to Burton's early days, in particular Beetlejuice. But it's well paced and nicely acted, with the ever reliable Depp (The Tourist notwithstanding) injecting a lot of life into his death, and Pfieffer displaying a subtle strength and charm that reminds us why she once a top star. Bonham Carter is a regular fixture of Burton's films, and for the most part a welcome one (if he has to cast his current love in every movie, thanks heavens he is now married to an accomplished and versatile actress instead instead of Lisa Marie, who was given ample opportunity to show of both of her major assets in a number of Burton films but never actually gave anything resembling a performance.). Unfortunately, Bonham Carter's character is very hit and miss, and provides some of the films highs, but also quite literally it's biggest low.

Eva Green, as the vengeful witch, Angelique, is clearly having a great time in her role, playing it to the hilt, and is quite entertaining. But ultimately the movie (big surprise) rests on Burton and Depp, and fortunately this is a more successful pairing of the happy couple than the wildly disjointed Alice In Wonderland, which if we are being honest was just a half baked remake of Hook that gave Depp an excuse to show us what it would be like if he stuck all of his previous film roles in a blender along with Jim Ccarrey and hit “puree.” (In fairness, I must point out that Alice was a huge hit and this movie is unlikely to approach its box office gross.). But Dark Shadows succeeds where that film failed, primarily for the reason that it follows the point of view of the strange outsider, Barnabas, which comes naturally to Burton and to Depp. It's when they are forced to portray normal people that both become out of their depth.

The film has a number of clever and amusing moments, too many of which, unfortunately, are seen in the trailers, but like the series on which it was based, it was it's darkly serious side as well. It's more violent than most audiences may expect, and the sexual content is surprisingly strong (in particular a sequence with Depp and Bonham Carter that will force many a squirming parent to answer the question “What was she doing to him?”) But the mixture works overall, never quite soaring as high as it would like but certainly staying in the air.

Ultimately, once again, this is a Tim Burton film, and your ability to enjoy depends on how you feel about that. As someone who alternately loves and hates that, in the end, I was decidedly entertained but not overjoyed.

Dark Shadows is rated PG-13 for violence, sex, profanity, vulgarity and smoking.

THE AVENGERS

Reviewed by Patrick Gibbs

THE AVENGERS

GRADE: A +

Robert Downey, Jr, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L. Jackson
Based on the comic created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby
Story by Zak Penn and Joss Whedon
Screenplay by Joss Whedon
Directed by Joss Whedon

It's finally here. The comic book movie event that Marvel Studios has been leading up too since 2008, when Iron Man surpassed all expectations and Robert Downey, Jr. finally became the huge star some of us always knew he could be. The setup continued that same summer with The Incredible Hulk, a dumbed down and painfully dull attempt to reboot the character after Ang Lee's misunderstood gem left audiences cold. This version actually made slightly less money, and opinion is still divided on which incarnation was better (despite revisionist history, a lot of critics reacted favorably to Lee's film at the time.). Between this quick, shoddy version of The Hulk and the overly crowded, muddled Iron Man 2, which was far more preoccupied with bridging the gap leading up to Avengers than in actually telling a story, I wasn't that excited about where Marvel Studios was going. Three things changed my mind: Kenneth Branagh's delightfully entertaining Crocodile Dundee meets Lord of The Rings approach to Thor, the wildly underrated Joe Johnston's wonderfully nostalgic throwback Captain America, which I never get tired of revisiting, and finally, the announcement of Joss Whedon as writer-director for The Avengers. Suddenly, this became a mouth watering prospect, and I was catching the vision of what might be the biggest event move in super hero history.

The story begins as Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), director of the espionage agency S.H.I.E.L.D, arrives at a remote research facility during an evacuation. As this point in the screening, as Jackson stepped off the helicopter, wearing his eye patch and leather trench coat, the man sitting next to held out his hand to me for a friendly first bump. Normally I do not indulge in this ritual, but there was a an excitement in the air and a friendly, nerdy camaraderie emanating from this fellow that seemed to say “This should make up for the wedding night neither of us will ever have. Is this the emotion the humans call joy?”and I got into the spirit of things and returned the fist bump with great enthusiasm. This was, after all, The Avengers, and we were seeing it first. We are talking serious geek cred here.

Anyway, back to the setup: The tesseract, an energy source of unknown potential (introduced in the stinger sequence of Thor and then explained in Captain America) has activated, and a portal through space has opened. Out of it comes the exiled Norse god of mischief, Loki (Tom Hiddelston). Loki takes the tesseract, and uses his abilities to control the minds of several S.H.I.E.L.D. Personnel.
In response to the attack, Fury reactivates the Avengers Initiative. First up are Dr. Bruce Banner( Mark Ruffalo) and Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.), alias “The Hulk” and “Iron Man,” both of whom are reluctant to join the team but are persuaded not only by Fury but by his loyal agents, Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) and Coulson (Clark Gregg.) Next up is Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), the recently unfrozen Captain America, who is still adjusting to life in 2012 as opposed to the '40's.

Rogers, Stark and Romanoff travel to Germany to apprehend Loki, who is recovering iridium to stabilize the Tesseract's power and demanding that the civilians kneel before him. After a battle with Captain America, Loki surrenders and is escorted back to a S.H.I.E.L.D. plane. However, Thor (played again by Chris Hemsworth), Loki's older brother and the Norse god of thunder, arrives and attempts to free Loki to reason with him. Stark and Rogers confront Thor, and Loki is eventually returned to the Helicarier, a high-tech, flying aircraft carrier, and placed in a cell designed to hold The Hulk.

The group Fury has assembled does not get along at all, in particular Rogers and Stark, whose “Luke Skywaker” and “Han Solo” personalities completely clash, and as Banner observes “This isn't a team. This is a time bomb.” But it's no spoiler to say that when push comes to shove and the fate of the Earth truly hangs in the balance, this team, joined by Agent Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye (two time Academy Award nominee Jeremy Renner), comes together and becomes the fighting machine to end all fighting machines.

There is no question that this movie is going to play best if you have seen all of the set up films (with The Incredible Hulk mattering least, as there is more than enough introduction of the character here and the the Norton film is barely referenced at all). In particular, some familiarity with Iron Man and Thor is a a big plus to following the story, but even if you haven't seen any of those films, The Avengers is a fast paced, large scale epic thrill ride with so much action, so many genuinely laugh out loud moments, and a surprising amount of quality character moments, that it should appeal to just about anyone unless they just flat out hate superheroes.

This is a near perfect piece of entertainment that delivers on every level, and somehow manages to give each of its primary characters (even Agent Coulson) a chance to shine, and no one is short changed, though the filmmakers are well aware that Downey's Stark is the biggest draw here and do not miss the opportunity to put him front and center whenever possible. But while every character delights, the unquestioned, breakout, crowd pleasing favorite is The Hulk. Credit should be divided equally between Ruffalo, Whedon, the voice of Lou Ferrigno and the special effects team for finally making a Hulk that should please everyone, and he really steals the show and creates a big smash (rim shot.) Evans also really shines as the Captain, one of the most genuinely likable movie heroes in many a year, Hemsworth gets a few great moments as Thor, and Johansson is sexy, deadly and at times hilarious, as the script gives her far more to work with than her introduction in Iron Man 2 ( her character as seen here could easily anchor of movie of it's own). And Renner may be the most interesting and versatile rising star of the moment. It takes a while before Hawkeye gets a chance to really get in on the action, but when he does, he does so with a vengeance, and Renner yet again proves he has a star quality that matches Hollywood's biggest and brightest.

This is Joss Whedon script, so it goes without saying that's full of snappy and amusing dialogue and many a creative moment, but Whedon the director, who previously impressed with Serenity, the big screen follow up to his short lived cult hit series Firefly, also really knows how to stage eye-popping action with the best of them. The scale of this film is massive, easily justifying the need for so many heroes, but Whedon keeps it focused and balanced, never losing control. This is almost exactly the movie Michael Bay has failed to make so many times before, and rarely has a big summer sequel blockbuster (this is part six in a series, after all) come through with such flying colors.

It's not likely to be an Oscar contender, but The Avengers will be a hit of epic proportions and likely the most unbridled fun you will have at the movies this summer.

The Avengers is rated PG-13 for violence, profanity, and mild innuendo.